Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Spamalot

My work e-mail address has finally been found by spammers. The amount that makes it all the way to my computer is still fairly low, so I take a look at it sometimes... Seems like most of it is advertisements in the form of a jpg with enough accompanying text to make it seem legitimate. The text is generally one of two forms: what reads like excerpts from one or several unrelated books or what reads like sentences randomly generated from noun adjective verb clumps. Today's example is in the latter category.

The dope was coming in heavier and heavier waves, and now he just wished she would shut up and go away. When a recliner defined by the insurance agent is proverbial, the judge inside a pine cone can be kind to a phony avocado pit. The power drill buries a salad dressing from another movie theater, and a nation from the cough syrup plans an escape from the short order cook related to a plaintiff a hesitantly shabby industrial complex.

The former category can have some intriguing plot twists, almost enough to make you wish there was more of it. Maybe they should try to sell fiction instead of replica watches, herbal weight loss pills, and hot stock tips.

He was finally able to convince her that returning to work would put him forward, not back. Annie's marriage had been dissolved in a much more legal fashion than Paul had anticipated. Annie lay silent and face-down in blood and spilled champagne and fragments of green glass. It dripped steadily from one side of the board which lay across the arms of the wheelchair.
Well, you get the drift. I'll leave you with a final thought:
Sometimes a green submarine hides, but a girl scout always sanitizes the paper napkin! Indeed, another fried judge figures out an avocado pit defined by a short order cook. A pig pen starts reminiscing about lost glory, and an obsequious crane takes a coffee break; however, the chestnut living with the tomato makes love to an ostensibly stoic customer. Furthermore, the purple bowling ball self-flagellates, and a turkey feverishly is a big fan of a jersey cow inside a chestnut.

3 comments:

Elaine said...

Gollo, that's odd stuff!

You might think this is funny. Many years ago after a horrible automobile accident, a doctor actually prescribed a recliner for me. It was on a prescription form and everything! The insurance company paid for it! It's as if these spammers took my life and put it on paper!

Wonder why all the spam I get is either to refinance my house, get a college degree, or enhance stuff I don't have.

It's the middle of the night here. Nothing to be done and I can't make any noise or I'll wake the whole house; but I'm going to get to those songs!

whiteray said...

The first and third ones read very much like some of the notes Bob Dylan wrote for his albums during the early portions of his career. I love ol' Bob and his music, but those notes were nonsense -- inspired nonsense, perhaps, but nonsense still!

whiteray said...

Forgot to mention -- thanks for stopping by the blog!